Unfortunately I am not a Financial Advisor (Too Bad now I know there is money in it ) but this Update on Swan’s future direction for a Balanced Budget may enlighten the Treasurers of Bankrupt E U member Countries and assist in keeping the Fish and Chip Shops open although their Banks may shortly have to close.But then you can't eat money.  

Sometime this year, or  AFTER the LABOR Federal Treasure’s Budget we taxpayers of Australia may again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment. with thanks to the unknown who sent me the rundown of this  indeed very exciting program, and I'll explain it by

Using a Q & A format:

Q.  What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q.  Where will the government get this money?

A. From taxpayers.

Q.  So the government is giving me back my own money?

A.  Only a smidgen of it.

Q.  What is the purpose of this payment?

A.  The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q.  But isn't that stimulating the economy of China     ?

A.  Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the Aust.  Economy by spending your stimulus cheque wisely:

If you spend the stimulus money at Coles, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.

If you spend it on petrol, your money will go to the Arabs.

If you purchase a computer, it will go to India, Taiwan   or China.

If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and

Guatemala.

If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.

If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.

If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in Australia by:

1)  Spending it at garage sales, or

2)  Going to the footy, or

3)  Spending it on Ladies of the Night or

4)  Beer, or

5) Tattoos.

(These are the only Australian businesses still operating in AUSTRALIA)

Conclusion:

Go to a Footy game with a Tattooed Lady of the Night that you met at a Garage Sale and drink Beer all day!

Save Australia……., Support Australian Businesses………. Patriotic Pays the Dividends

No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help in this small attempt to keep the Australian Banking system viable despite the Federal Government’s  desire to borrow Australia into extinction with Treasurer Swan’s Government now employing that successful  magician’s trick of “  now you see it now you don’t “  plan to get that promised Budget surplus.  Or as some Australian Labor Governments  have  done before,Juliar says,"  just Spend, Spend, no worries we will not be the ones that have to pay it back."

Using the current Australian vibrant economy with its healthy budget surplus due by at least( my uneducated guess)  2100  as a stimulus for generous charity  donations, Juliar and Swan recently gave the IMF $7 Billion to help bail out that unfortunate basket case Greece amongst other EU Countries with similar Debt default problems. The IMF to finance the EU rescue plan, a plan unfortunately rejected by those bankrupt Countries where some lucky workers retire on Government benefits at that grand old age of 53 years and civil servants are paid 14months pay for Christmas.

Don’t believe me !   From “ The Blog”  Diane Francis. Editor at Large, The National Post in 2011

Greece Is Not a Country, It's a Party

Quote “ Taxes have gone uncollected forever or have been short stopped by corrupt tax collectors. For decades, Greek governments have paid civil servants bonuses for showing up to work on time and 14 months' pay for Christmas. Retirement has averaged at 53 years of age. The other members of the "Club Med," or Club Nearly Dead, include Portugal, Spain and Italy which have soaring costs and gigantic underground, tax free economies. END QUOTE.

Now, who was that idiot who once said “Charity begins at home?” No, sorry, wrong it wasn’t Wayne Swan, have another guess.

Or as the Anthem words are misquoted in a certain Movie, “Australians all let us ring Joyce for she is young and free.”  And she’ll be right Mate. regards Robert WN